I Smell A ...

Every morning my person takes me for a walk. There’s always something for us to sniff and of course pee on. The other day we saw a very funny puppy waddling up the sidewalk. My person’s been on the lookout for a missing dog in our neighborhood so we started to walk closer to the funny puppy. As we got closer, the puppy climbed up the steps to a house. Now you have to understand something before I go on. My person is supposed to wear glasses, but rarely does. In the morning when it’s still kind of dark my person is pretty much blind as a bat. Now back to my story. As my person started following the puppy up the steps, I smelled something funny. It didn’t smell like a puppy at all. When we got closer to the door, I realized I’d smelled that smell before and I wasn’t getting any closer. There sitting against the door was a possum, now turned facing us, hissing, and showing me all those sharp teeth. Honey’s scared of her own shadow. There was no way she was getting close to that ugly little thing. She backed up and we got the heck out of there.

This morning Honey and I were out on our morning walk. The sun was barely starting to come up. It was still pretty dark and where we live, they don’t believe in street lights. My person was listening to the radio and watching a bunny sitting in a yard. Sometimes we play a game to see how close we can get to the bunnies before they run away. We kept getting closer to the bunny and it didn’t move. All of a sudden my person kicked something and let out a yelp. What my person had kicked was a rat that was now running frantically trying to get away from us. The only problem was the rat couldn’t figure out from under two human feet and eight fluffy white legs. My person was lifting our leashes and pulling us quickly. Honey and I were trying to see what all the commotion was about. When we got a little further down the sidewalk my person said, “I’m surprised you didn’t eat it.” Eat it?!? I had to smell it! I wasn’t about to eat it! I think it’s time my person starts wearing glasses in the morning.

It's As Easy As Riding A Bike

There was a clip on the Today Show this past week about ways to save gas. They showed electric bikes and scooters. My person immediately got on the computer and started looking at electric bikes. Even though my person works in town, this wouldn’t be a good alternative. Then my person decided a scooter would be a good choice. Yeah right! My person can’t walk across the living room without tripping and nearly falling. Also I'm not sure where I would ride. Being crammed into a backpack, riding in the open air all over town is not my idea of a good time.

For the past week, my person has been looking at different scooters on the internet, talked to everyone about getting a scooter, and finally found a place about 25 miles from our house that sells the one my person wanted. Today Mack and I got to go for a ride in the car, and we were off to the scooter store.

The salesman was very nice and answered all of my person’s questions. Yes, there were a lot of questions, but the man had all the answers. Now it was time for a test drive. There was another man test driving the scooter my person was interested in. The man was zipping back and forth all around the parking lot. It really looked like fun.

Then…it was my person’s turn to do a test drive. It was a sight to behold. Let me just say, I knew we were in for a treat when my person couldn’t figure out how to turn it on. Even I know you have to have the brake engaged in order to start it. Next my person backed out and started to drive, if you can call it that. The first thing my person did was nearly run into the row of scooters sitting outside the shop. At this point he’d gone less than two feet. Once again it was a brake issue, but my person tried to stop with his feet. The poor salesman had fear in his eyes. Then my person tried to drive around the parking lot all the while his feet were still on the ground. I doubt there’s any tread left on the bottom of those shoes. You’d think that would have been enough of a test drive, but no, my person turned the scooter around and zipped past our car. Mack and I were barking and barking at him. We were trying to tell him to pick up his feet. Now when I say “zipped” I really mean a slow putt putt with my person wobbling from side to side with a complete and utter look of shear terror.

After the two minute ride, my person parked the scooter, looked at the salesman and said, “I didn’t do too good, did I?” The salesman smiled and told my person, “You have to go to driving school. I wouldn’t sell you a scooter until you do.” To which my person responded, “They say it’s as easy as riding a bike, but I haven’t been on a bike in 25 years.” Once my person got the information about scooter school, we were on our way to Walmart listening to the Thong Song. Personally I think my person should save the money and put it towards a new Prius if we’re worried about gas mileage.

Now I’ve got that stupid song stuck in my head. That thong, th, th, thong, thong, thong…

I Thought I Got To Go

The other day we all got a bath. I love to get a bath. I also love to get brushed. Honey hates it. My person says she turns into a little pancake when she has to get a bath or gets brushed. Guess she shouldn’t have been born a Bichon if she doesn’t like to get brushed. The only way we stay fluffy is if we get brushed. Otherwise we get bathmats all over us.

Perdu got in trouble when he got a bath. My person reached to get something and Perdu jumped out of the bathtub. He almost ended up in the potty when he jumped out. I guess he would have been a Poodle in the Potty if that happened. When Perdu jumped out of the tub I started chasing him all around the house telling him to go back in the tub. Perdu started running all over the house getting suds everywhere. My person was not very happy with Perdu, but couldn’t stop laughing either. We almost had a Poodle in the Potty, instead we had Poodle puffs all over the house.

I was so excited to get a bath because my person was going to a vention. I don’t know what my person invented, but a vention must be where you go to show off your invention. After a while my person told me it’s not an invention but my person was going to a convention. So I guess I was excited because I got to go to a convention. Don’t know what a convention is, but I couldn’t wait to go. I hoped we got to ride to the convention in the car. I like to ride in the car, but I don’t like to go on the airplane. On the airplane I have to ride underneath, but Mack gets to sit up in first class. On the airplane I have to sit in the dark, but Mack gets to watch movies with my person. On the airplane, I have to go down the conveyor belt, but Mack gets to sit with my person and have people say, “Oh, he’s so cute.” Some things just aren’t right.

You won’t believe it, but my person went to the convention without me. Instead I get to stay home and have Perdu ride me around the kitchen. His newest thing is to pull on my ears until I squeak. My person told him to stop because I was starting to get bathmats on my ears. Now I’m sitting at home waiting for my friend Mary Anne to come over and play with us. My person told her not to give us too many treats, but what happens when my person’s gone is between Mary Anne and me.

Perdu Needs a Playmate

When we get up in the morning, it’s very calm around our house. Usually my person gets up and takes us outside. Sometimes I don’t even go outside with everyone else. I sneak back under the bed and take a nap until it’s time to eat. This morning Perdu had a different plan. He started pulling on my leg wanting me to play. I was too tired so I barked him away. Then he started running around the house trying to get someone else to play with him. He jumped over Miles a couple of times. Finally Miles snapped Perdu in the leg. Then when he was running, he slid into Honey and knocked her over. She was so mad she snapped him in the rear. Even Mack was too tired to play. Poor Perdu couldn’t find anyone to play with him.

Finally Perdu had an idea. He’d get my person to play with him. But How? While my person was getting ready to go to work, Perdu jumped up on the bed and grabbed a sock and ran out the door. My person came running after him trying to get the sock back. Perdu started running around the yard in circles with the sock hanging from his mouth. My person wasn’t very happy standing there in one sock watching Perdu running in circles and trying to bark with a sock in his mouth. I thought it looked like fun so I started chasing Perdu and trying to get the sock. Pretty soon Honey and Mack joined in. Finally Honey got the sock and ran from Perdu. He started chasing Honey to get the sock back. They played tug-o-war with my person’s sock. We were all now wide awake. Even Dudley tried to get the sock. Everyone was barking and pulling on the sock. It was the most fun I’ve had in a long time. Now my person really wasn’t happy and went to put on a different pair of socks. Perdu must have felt bad. He brought the sock back to my person and put it on the bed. My person started laughing. We made that sock as big as four socks. It’s just like getting two extra pairs of socks. My person is so lucky to have us.

Perdu Goes To The Vet

Perdu had to go to the vet today. When my person got him from the pound, Perdu went straight to the vet’s office and had an operation so he couldn’t make any more puppies. Today Perdu had to have his stitches taken out. We’ve all had that operation. My person told me there are too many dogs. That’s why the pound has to make some of them go to sleep. We like having puppies here, but all of the puppies have an operation so they don’t have any puppies either.

On the way home from the vet my person saw a little black dog almost get hit by a car. My person got out of the car and picked up the little doggy. My person asked a worker who was mowing someone’s lawn if it was his dog. The man said no, so my person took the little black dog to the vet to see if it had a chip inside her. We all have a chip in case we get lost. If someone finds us, the chip place will call my person and say we were found. If we end up in the pound, they won’t make us go to sleep until they let my person know we are there.

KC, my friend at the vet’s office, checked for a chip on the little black dog, and what do you know she had one. KC called the phone number the chip company gave her and the lady who answered the phone said it wasn’t her dog. She lived in Colorado and her dog was sitting in her lap. This happened when I took my three week walk. My person found another little white dog like me and the dog had a chip. Only one problem, the chip was wrong. The records said the chip belonged to another dog. My person tells people when their dog gets a chip put in to have the vet check the number to be sure it’s correct. Nothing like thinking the chip is right and finding out in a very sad way that it was wrong all along. My person also tells people if they move to have their contact information updated with the chip company. If the phone doesn’t work anymore, the chip company can’t call.

Since the chip number was wrong on the little black dog, my person had to bring her home. She didn’t like Perdu very much. She growled at him. Maybe she’d never seen a poodle before. She liked me though. She followed me all over the house. If I’d go outside she’d be right behind me. I think everybody likes me! I liked the little black dog and was kinda glad she came to our house when she did. Today is bath day. If my person has something else to do, I don't have to get a bath.

My person made up some signs and took the little black dog out and hung them up around the place where she was found. My person was hoping to find her owner out looking for her. No luck. The little black dog came back to our house for an unscheduled play date.

Just a few minutes ago a woman called my person. Her little black dog was missing and she found one of the signs. They thought their dog was sleeping under the bed and then found out she wasn’t in the house. My person asked the lady if the dog was wearing a collar. The lady said yes, and the dog’s name was Touchdown. My person laughed and said, “That explains the Miami Dolphins collar she’s wearing. The lady started screaming. She was so excited my person found Touchdown. They came to our house right away. Touchdown was very glad to see them. My person was very glad they got their little black dog back too. We have enough dogs already. Guess where Touchdown lives, in the house where the man was working in the yard. The workers must have let her out and didn’t notice. My person told me it happens all the time. We’re all glad Touchdown got back home safely and didn’t get hit by that car.

If you’re keeping track, that’s the third dog we’ve found in one week. My person said, “We’re not leaving the house the rest of the weekend.” I don’t know why, it’s always fun to have new friends at our house. Wonder if I'll still have to take a bath?

Farah the Big Brown Dog

We have mice in our yard. Mack and I like to chase them when we find them. My person doesn’t want to kill Walter or Trudy or make us sick, but also doesn't want the mice living here. We can’t put a kill trap outside or use poison. My person went and got a live trap to keep all of us safe. When one of the mice is in the trap, my person takes them to a field and lets them go.

Today when my person was letting a mouse go, a big dog named Farah came up to greet my person. Poor Farah was lost. Luckily Farah had a collar with tags so my person could call her people and tell them Farah was lost. When my person called, Farah’s person said they were visiting friends an hour away and would come up to get her. I guess Farah likes to dig in her yard. Her people had her tied up in the backyard, but Farah slipped out of her harness and dug out of the backyard. I think Farah really wanted to go for a walk. Farah’s people wanted my person to let Farah go and leave her there until they came to get her. If you know my person, you know that didn’t happen. Farah came to our house.

Since Perdu was not very nice to the ugly brown and white dog the other day, my person was worried about bringing Farah into the house. Farah got tied to a tree outside while my person mowed the lawn. Farah’s people called about an hour later. They were looking for Farah, but couldn’t find her. My person told them where we lived so they could come to get her. My person wasn’t very happy with Farah’s people and was going to “have a talk” with them. When they came, Farah’s people were very happy to see her. Farah’s dad apologized for my person having to bring her home and said, “If there’s ever I anything I can do for you, just let me know. Farah’s dad is a fireman. There’s some people you have to give a break to. A firefighter is one of those people. I hope we never need him for anything.

Leo the Brown and White Dog

Ding dong! Ding dong! Our doorbell was ringing. Whenever that happens we run as fast as we can back and forth from the front door to the back door, barking and barking!! There’s only one reason the doorbell can be ringing. Someone must be here to see us. This time it was the neighbor person coming to say one of our dogs had gotten out and was running down the alley. My person quickly came back in the house and counted all of our noses. We were all there. Of course we were there, I went for an extended walk a couple of years ago, and I’ll never do that again.

My person grabbed a leash and went back outside. I couldn’t figure out what was going on. If my person was taking a leash outside, why wasn’t I on the other end of it? A few minutes later, my person came back in the house carrying a little brown and white dog. My person put the dog down on the floor. I took one look at it and thought of the line from The Color Purple, “You sho is ugly!” That little dog must have been some kind of a mix. I think his mom must have been a Papillon and his dad must have been whatever dog happened to be in the neighborhood at the time. He even had bulgy green eyes. I’ve never seen a dog with green eyes before. Perdu really didn’t like the ugly dog. He started growling at it. My person got mad and put Perdu and me outside. It’s wasn’t fair that I had to go too, but Perdu starts barking if I’m not right there with him. When there’s too much barking, my person’s face turns all red.

We watched through the window as my person made some posters and took the ugly dog back out the front door. After about an hour my person came back but without the ugly dog. My person told me some girls pointed out the house where the ugly dog lived. The people weren’t home, but the dog’s neighbor person said she’d take him. She said his name was Leo. She also said he was bad. I guess he gets out of his yard a lot and goes around the neighborhood causing trouble. No wonder Perdu didn’t like him. She asked if my person wanted to keep him. My person quickly said, “No! We have enough dogs already!” I’m glad. I really didn’t want the ugly dog to live at my house. We really do have enough dogs already.