It's As Easy As Riding A Bike

There was a clip on the Today Show this past week about ways to save gas. They showed electric bikes and scooters. My person immediately got on the computer and started looking at electric bikes. Even though my person works in town, this wouldn’t be a good alternative. Then my person decided a scooter would be a good choice. Yeah right! My person can’t walk across the living room without tripping and nearly falling. Also I'm not sure where I would ride. Being crammed into a backpack, riding in the open air all over town is not my idea of a good time.

For the past week, my person has been looking at different scooters on the internet, talked to everyone about getting a scooter, and finally found a place about 25 miles from our house that sells the one my person wanted. Today Mack and I got to go for a ride in the car, and we were off to the scooter store.

The salesman was very nice and answered all of my person’s questions. Yes, there were a lot of questions, but the man had all the answers. Now it was time for a test drive. There was another man test driving the scooter my person was interested in. The man was zipping back and forth all around the parking lot. It really looked like fun.

Then…it was my person’s turn to do a test drive. It was a sight to behold. Let me just say, I knew we were in for a treat when my person couldn’t figure out how to turn it on. Even I know you have to have the brake engaged in order to start it. Next my person backed out and started to drive, if you can call it that. The first thing my person did was nearly run into the row of scooters sitting outside the shop. At this point he’d gone less than two feet. Once again it was a brake issue, but my person tried to stop with his feet. The poor salesman had fear in his eyes. Then my person tried to drive around the parking lot all the while his feet were still on the ground. I doubt there’s any tread left on the bottom of those shoes. You’d think that would have been enough of a test drive, but no, my person turned the scooter around and zipped past our car. Mack and I were barking and barking at him. We were trying to tell him to pick up his feet. Now when I say “zipped” I really mean a slow putt putt with my person wobbling from side to side with a complete and utter look of shear terror.

After the two minute ride, my person parked the scooter, looked at the salesman and said, “I didn’t do too good, did I?” The salesman smiled and told my person, “You have to go to driving school. I wouldn’t sell you a scooter until you do.” To which my person responded, “They say it’s as easy as riding a bike, but I haven’t been on a bike in 25 years.” Once my person got the information about scooter school, we were on our way to Walmart listening to the Thong Song. Personally I think my person should save the money and put it towards a new Prius if we’re worried about gas mileage.

Now I’ve got that stupid song stuck in my head. That thong, th, th, thong, thong, thong…